Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
