I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
