I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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