I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
