Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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