I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
