hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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