I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
