So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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