I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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