ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
