You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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