I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
