Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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