So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
