Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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