I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
