I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
