That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
