only if we run a train.
done.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need a beard to bite.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
