I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
