yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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