real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize