She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
