I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
