this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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