i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
