Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
