I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
