Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ugly people sure do ruin things
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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