I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
