Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
