just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
