It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sober January is a disaster.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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