He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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