Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
