she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
