Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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