At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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