you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I love you.
Bad choice
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