Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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