You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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