Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
