The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
