I hate your face
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
