Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
