WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
