I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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