Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In other news, I just burned my penis
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
