I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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