Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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