"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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