What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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