Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
